Friendship
by readerofhpfanfics
Summary: The war is over. Everyone is moving on with their lives. Will the future bring happiness for Harry at last?
1. Firebolt

Harry grabbed one of the school broom and flew over to Hogsmeade. There was a long wait in the fly-thru of Tim Horton's so he hummed to himself while he waited. Finally he got to the order box.

"Welcome to Tim Horton's, may I take your order?"

"Yeah hi, I want a largedoubledoubleaextralargetripletripleabowlofchili…"

"Er- sorry what was that? You'll get a large double double and-"

"aextralargetripletripleabowlofchiliabutterbeerabreakfastsandwish-"

"Ok um I didn't get any of that except the breakfast sandwich and it's evening, so we don't sell those right now-"

"aextralargetripletripleabowlofchiliabutterbeer"

"We don't sell butterbeer here. So it was a-"

"Well there isn't supposed to be a Tim Horton's in the UK, and yet there is one here in Hogsmeade."

"There are people out there out there who write fanfictions, and they think just because what they are writing is 'fiction' they can put whatever they want in it. So a Tim Horton's in Hogsmeade seems plausible to some people I guess…"

Harry thought that over and shrugged.

"All right, well the real reason I came here is because I played Roll up the Rim to Win, and won a Firebolt. So I was wondering if I could get it. I have the tab here if you don't believe me. I lost mine last summer when I was trying to escape from Voldemort."

"Well see the contest was over last May… so-"

"I was in hiding from Voldemort, and then there was the war, and the funerals… so I didn't really have time to stop in Hogsmeade to claim my prize," Harry said angrily. "I'm Harry Potter you know."

"Really? Wow. I didn't realize… but still, Mr. Potter. You had to claim your prize by the end of May. Besides, we don't keep the Firebolts here. When someone wins the Firebolts or the prize money, they have to fill out a form and send for it. We only take the free donuts and the free coffees here."

"All right fine," Harry said. "I'll get that Firebolt somehow. I am Harry Potter. I just defeated Voldemort. Anyways, I want a large double double, an extra large triple triple, a large regular, a large black, a medium with two sugars and an extra ten sugars and five creams. Oh, and a dozen donuts. Just pick whatever."

"All right fly through."

Harry flew off ignoring the loud honks people were making with their wands. When he got to the window, he took the coffees and donuts.

"These are all spill proof right?" He asked at the window.

"Yes, they are." The girl said.

She smiled and showed chocolate covered teeth.

Harry flew back to Hogwarts with the the coffees and the donuts following him. When he got back he gave everyone there coffees.

"There is ten sugars and five creams in this?" Luna asked as she took her coffee from him.

"Yes," Harry said. "Says on the cup."

"So there really is a Tim Horton's in Hogsmeade?" Hermione asked.

"I told you that there is one," Luna said. "Now you'll have to start believing me about the Crumple-Horned Snorkack!"

"Oh please," Hermione said. "We knew there had to be a chance that there was a Tim Horton's, otherwise Harry couldn't have won his Firebolt. We just weren't sure where the coffees came from. Tim Hortons is a Canadian Muggle Coffee Shop."

"It's disgusting," Ron said as he took a sip of his large black.

"THOU SHALL NOT IGNORE ME!" Ginny shouted who had been waiting patiently for Harry to give her a coffee.

"Oh, sorry," Harry said and handed her the medium coffee.

As he looked at her, he felt the monster in stomach roar triumphantly.

"Oh sorry," Harry told everyone as he pushed it back.

They all stared at the monster in shock.

"That happens sometimes."

Whoosh!

They all looked up to see Draco flying past on a skateboard, with Snape chasing after him.

"I thought Snape died," Ron said.

"I thought skateboards were for Muggles," Hermione said.

"EAT MY SHORTS!" Draco shouted at Snape.


	2. Happy

"What were you doing with my sister?" Ron asked.

"Oh… um, nothing," Harry said. "We were just talking."

Harry thought back to the last hour when he had been alone with Ginny.

Ow Ow Ow  
Im Gonna Fucking Cum

Owwww owwww owwwww (oh god damn!)  
I'm gonna fuckin' come! (oh shit!)  
Fuuck fuck fuyyuccck (fuck I am!)  
I am, I'm going to come (I'm coming!)

(Ohh yeahh god) I never seen no chick like this,  
this bitch can twist like a damn contortionist  
condom on my dick of course it is,  
this bitch don't know what abortion is  
so I cant cum in her,  
fucks like a porn star, looks like Jenna,  
fuck I'm gonna,  
come I think my rubbers comin' off,  
but oh its so fuckin wet and soft,  
fuck, i'm gonna start lettin' off  
im squirtin and shes not gettin' off,  
and shes on top  
im gonna fackin' ohh god,  
oh don't do that dont, stop,  
stop don't, I don't mean don't stop,  
oww wait a minute  
ow ow fuck I...I'm gonna fuckin comeee! *squirt squirt squirt*

Owwww owwww owwwww (oh god damn!)  
I'm gonna fackin' come! (oh shit!)  
Fack fack fayyuccck (fuck I am!)  
I am, I'm going to come (I'm coming!)

Oooh wow, boo that pow, ooh ow I need a cigarette now!  
Ow im so fuckin' hot,  
and you're soo fuckin' hot,  
oh my god,  
I wanna fackin' fack  
no not fuck, I said fack ,  
f-a-c-k, f-a-c-k, fack, fack fack fackin' freak mee!  
Ohh yeah girl see baby they call me Mr Freaky,  
lets call your sister, 3-way have some 3-some me so horny! (I don't have a sister, Harry…)

(Sorry, got caught up in the moment.)

And you're such a fuckin' babe I wanna go down on you, fuck you shave!  
Ohh god damn here I go again, I'm gonna cum I am

Owwww owwww owwwww (oh god damn!)  
I'm gonna fackin' come! (oh shit!)  
Fack fack fack (fuck I am!)  
I am, I'm going to come (I'm coming!)

Ok I'm done,  
I already came twice,  
you aint gonna make me cum,  
I'm all outta gas,  
Not so fast! Uh your finger just went in my ass!  
Ow that hurts! Take it out now  
Ohh wait a minute oww put it back in, in in in  
this don't mean I'm gay I dont like men  
I like boobs, boobs, boobs  
Now see that gerbil, grab that tube,  
shove it up my butt,  
let that little rascal nibble on my asshole, uhh, yeah, right there, right there,  
Ahhh I'm coming ahhh yeaaah,  
fack, I just came again, okay pull it out now,  
ohh fuck yeah, wait he's not out hes still crawling around up there,  
ow fuck I think it's stuck  
oww but it feels so fackin' good!

Owwww owwww owwwww (oh god damn!)  
I'm gonna fackin' come! (oh shit!)  
Fack fack fack (fuck I am!)  
I am, I'm going to come (I'm coming!)

Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube!  
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube!  
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube!  
Shove a gerbil in your ass through a tube!  
Ew ew ew ew


	3. After affects of Chili

"Harry! Harry!"

Harry looked up from his book feeling irritated. Why were they bothering him at a time like this? He sighed and looked back down at the book he was reading again. The pounding outside the door only grew louder.

"Harry!" Hermione shouted.

"What!?" He asked angrily as he turned a page in the book.

"Are you all right?"

"Of course I am, now please leave me alone," he said.

"We heard you screaming. You sounded like you were in pain," Ron said.

"Oh er… I'm fine," Harry said.

His face went red. He'd had chili the night before, and it hurt while he did his business. He'd put up a silencing charm, but apparently it hadn't worked. Suddenly the door opened, and Hermione, Ron, and Ginny entered the bathroom.

"Oh goodness," Hermione said and she pinched her nose.

"That's terrible mate," Ron said.

Harry felt annoyed and embarrassed at the same time. He was in the _bathroom _what had they expected?

"Get out!" He shouted.

"Harry, I never knew…" Ginny said.

"Oh come on," he said angrily. "You shoved a gerbil up my butt with a tube… you saw the excrements that came with the tube when you pulled it out. As for the gerbil…"

He didn't want to think about it. It had taken a lot of washing to get the gerbil to smell good again. And then, he found it really wasn't a gerbil, but a rat. It had _looked_ like a gerbil but that the creatures purpose. He thought that Peter Pettigrew had died, but he really hadn't. He survived… somehow.

He didn't want to tell his friends that Peter Pettigrew had been the gerbil they had taken in. The man was gone after all. He was quite traumatized after crawling around in the Boy-Who-Lived's intestines for a day.

"Can you please give me some privacy?" He asked.

Harry sighed when they left the room. Only he could be disturbed while in the bathroom.


	4. Addiction

"Harry, I think you have a caffeine addiction," Hermione said.

"Why would you say that?" Harry asked.

They were at Grimmauld place. Kreacher was at Hogwarts, and Harry really hadn't gotten the cleaning spells down pat… so at the moment, the place was a bit messy. On the kitchen table, there was a pile of Tim Horton's cups.

"I don't really understand it," Ron said who was drinking a butterbeer. "It's disgusting."

"Probably because you drink it black," Harry said. "You should put sugar in it. It sucks if they don't stir it properly though. It's all disgusting and bitter until you get to the bottom, and then you get a mouthful of sugar."

"I'm really concerned about this," Hermione said. "You really stop drinking so much coffee."

"I'm an Auror," Harry answered. "Sometimes caffeine helps out. I think if we had some of this during our hunt for the Horcruxes we wouldn't have been so crabby."

"Who was crabby?" Ron asked.

Hermione and Harry stared at him.

"What?" He asked.

"Anyways, Harry Mrs. Weasley wanted us to go to the Burrow," Hermione said.

"All right, well let's make a stop at the coffee shop on the way. Some people might want some you know…"

"You know mum can just make her own coffee?" Ron asked. "She prefers tea, but if she wanted coffee-"

"No it has to be Tim Horton's!" Harry said. "I wanted to get some of their chili…"

Hermione and Ron stared after him as he left the room to get some sickles and knuts.

"I think we have a problem…" Ron said.

"A lot of strange things have been happening lately," Hermione said. "First Snape comes back to life, and apparently Draco likes to skateboard… somehow there is a Tim Horton's chain around here and-"

"I think Luna might be right," Ron told her. "Some really bad writer is-"

"On not that again!" Hermione said. "It wasn't Luna who came up with it. It was some Tim Horton's employee who told Harry about fanfiction. Luna just believes farfetched stuff like that. Fanfiction is when someone writes about characters from a book they liked."

"Well you have to admit that strange stuff has happened to us before," Ron said. "Sometimes things happen that we would never do, and yet-"

"Oh let's just get Harry and go!" Hermione said.


End file.
